It’s All For You

It’s All For You

Last week we discussed letting go and how difficult it can be to loosen our grasp on things that we can’t, but want to, control.

Maybe a friendship has started to drift apart, maybe your love interest has stopped contacting you, maybe you didn’t get the job you applied for, or maybe it just feels like your entire world is falling down around you piece by piece.

Whatever your situation, it can be really hard to believe that it’s all happening for any other reason aside from bad luck or having something “wrong” with you. It’s really easy to believe that some sort of shortcoming is the reason that things aren’t working out for you, and therefore easy to believe that you’re not good enough. It’s easy to blame ourselves because it seems like the most obvious answer.

My friend and I are drifting apart because I’ve turned into a terrible friend (cue the running through every conversation you’ve had recently trying to figure out what you could have said or done to upset them).

The person I’m interested in stopped talking to me because I’m annoying, or not good looking enough. Maybe I’m not funny or interesting enough. Maybe if I’d done something different they’d still be around.

I didn’t get the job because I said something stupid. I was talking too fast, I didn’t make sense. My outfit probably looked unprofessional, and my handshake wasn’t firm enough.

Of course, this is all happening to me. Everything always happens to me. Why me? Why do I even bother? Why does this happen to me?

I’ll tell you.

It’s not happening to you, it’s happening for you.

Maybe you and your friend are drifting in different directions because you’re moving at different speeds. Maybe you’re excelling and moving forward in your life, and maybe they’re finding themselves stuck in the same place, or vice versa. Either way, it’s an opportunity to make improvements. Either by continuing to thrive and enjoy your life, and hopefully, your friend will catch up, or having the opportunity to take a look at your current situation and begin to make positive changes. Maybe life is simply taking you separate places.

Maybe the person you had your heart set on isn’t all that and a bag of chips, after all. Maybe taking off your rose-colored glasses will help you see a little more clearly as to why they weren’t a good fit in your life. I’m sure they are great for multiple reasons, but I’m also sure there are reasons they’re not a great fit for you. Maybe they’re doing you a giant favour by not responding to your text messages anymore. Maybe, instead, you can make room in your life for someone better to happen for you.

Maybe you didn’t get the job because you didn’t meet every qualification they were looking for, or maybe someone did interview better than you. But maybe that doesn’t have to mean that it’s because you’re completely inadequate. Maybe you don’t have to make yourself feel small because of one rejection. Maybe this can be a lesson for you; an opportunity to take away something from your experience. Maybe you can tweak your resume or fine-tune your interviewing skills so that when a better opportunity comes along you’ll nail it. Maybe this isn’t the job for you.

Maybe it’s not all happening to you. Maybe it’s time for you to move forward; for your life to change directions. Maybe in order for that to happen, you have to be shaken to your core, and then, in the end, all of that rattling will benefit you rather than hinder you.

It’s easy to believe that the world is against us when things don’t go the way we’d envisioned or hoped. It’s easy to assume that it’s only going to get worse and that if we don’t immediately try to salvage whatever is falling away that our life as we know it is going to end. But, what if it doesn’t? And if it does, what if that’s the point?

What if we’re not supposed to stand still, but instead continuously seek and welcome change?

Every single day we’re learning, growing, and changing. We evolve with every new ounce of knowledge we soak in and with every new experience. Our insights, outlooks, and opinions change as different challenges and obstacles present themselves. We’re always learning, always shapeshifting into someone new whether it’s obvious or not.

So, if we are consistently changing, why would we expect our lives to stay the same or to move in one linear direction? Why would we expect every single relationship in our lives to remain the same, or for the people in our lives not to change? Why is it so hard to just trust in the end result?

Maybe a new outlook is the first step. A new thought process that revolves around the idea that what’s happening in my life — all the change, uncomfortable transitions, and disappointment — is ultimately happening for me.

After this storm, I will flourish.

After the sky clears I will shine.

Once I dig out these weeds beautiful life will grow.

I will be better, in the end, because of this.



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