What’s Your Number?

What’s Your Number?

Let’s talk personality (probably not where you thought this was going, am I right?).

We all have one. We all have our own unique personality, actually, and yet there’s this notion that we can all be ranked and placed into 9 separate personality “types” by taking the Enneagram test.

I found this intriguing when I heard of it quite a while ago, however I finally decided to take it for myself to see how accurate it really is.

Here are my results.

Type 1 – 44%
Type 2 – 94%
Type 3 – 43 %
Type 4 – 76 %
Type 5 – 46 %
Type 6 – 70%
Type 7 – 56%
Type 8 – 18%
Type 9 – 73 %

Type 2: The Giver

Type two’s are referred to as Givers. They are described as individuals who are extremely empathetic and put others’ needs before their own. They’re often looked at as the ‘mother’ or ‘father’ of their social groups, and place a lot of weight on others’ opinions of them. They try hard to make a good impression and to create connections with other people. Relationships are important to them, and being liked is also very important.

What struck me as interesting about this type was actually what Givers are like on a bad day. I really don’t like to think of myself as someone as wonderful as what Givers sound to be, however I do identify with some of the more unhealthy characteristics of this type.

While a Giver can be completely selfless and giving, on a bad day or during an “unhealthy time” they’re often extremely self-conscious and this bleeds into every area of their life, especially relationships. A Giver can turn quickly into an emotional wreck who feels down on themselves and takes it out on other people.

As ugly as that sounds, I know that I have been there. While I really do love to help those around and find joy in their joy, I’ll be honest and say that when my mental health isn’t in check I can be a little unbearable as well. I quickly burn out from taking on the emotions of too many people, and I sink into a pit of self-pity and read into every little thing as negatively as possible. I assume the worst in people, and often push them away. While I’m sure this can be blamed on mental health (depression/anxiety) alone, the characteristics described of Givers when they’re specifically unhealthy is pretty well exactly me.

Type 4: The Individualist

My next highest match is a Type 4. Individualists are described as artistic, feel a strong sense of self, are passionate about self-expression, and tend to feel an unfillable emptiness.

Reading through the characteristics, I really didn’t identify with much other than, again, the more negative sides of this type.

While I do really push for acceptance of self-expression and the self-expression of others, I don’t feel that I, myself, have a strong sense of self or how to accurately express myself. Obviously writing is a wonderful outlet for me, but most of my writing revolves around having no idea what’s going on and just trying to figure myself out one misstep at a time.

Indiviualists at their best are highly in tune with who they are and what they believe in. They fight for their beliefs and individuality, and often create groundbreaking works of art. At their worst, however, they become extremely moody, depressed, and tend to excessively ruminate. If you know me at all you know that when I get stuck on something I ruminate for days. Weeks, sometimes.

Individualists also often lose their grip on reality in their low states, and usually fall into the same repeating patterns of mistakes, until they’re able to come to terms with being their own self-destructive thoughts and behaviours being the reason for their constant road blocks and dead ends. Anyone who knows me closely will also agree that this sounds a lot like who I am as a person. It’s like I know that I’m causing my own pain and suffering, I know that I’m the one making the same mistake over and over, and yet I continue to make them. It isn’t until I completely crumble that I can sit with myself and understand the role I play in my own suffering.

Type 9: The Peacemaker

This type I actually do identify with quite a bit, mainly because of my fear of conflict. While I can be a pretty opinionated person at times, I really try to avoid any sort of conflict directly involving me if I can. However, with that being said, I am often the first person to help others resolve conflicts. As long as it doesn’t involve me I can see things from a calm, rational standpoint and easily voice what I think.

Peacemakers are described as social chameleons that can adapt to most social groups and situations. They’re easygoing and inclusive, as well as tolerant of almost anyone. They deeply seek meaning in their lives, and need to feel connected to the universe. They also often need a space and time to recharge from the outside world.

To be honest this all sounds exactly like me. Aside from the times that I feel incredibly anxious, I’ve always found it easy to get along with any group of people. I had friends from all different circles and groups in high school, and as long as someone shows me respect, I’ll show them the same respect. I’m someone who trusts until given a reason not to, and can arguably be too trusting and forgiving. I also feel the desire to be connected with the universe. While I don’t consider myself to be religious, or particularly agree with organized religion, I do feel a sense of connection with something bigger than myself. I believe in the universe and all its laws, and try to work with them everyday to become a better person and create a beautiful life.

While I identify with this type on a positive level, I also identify with the unhealthy side of this personality type as well.

I have the tendency to become lethargic, unfocused, and have always been terrible for procrastinating until the last minute. I often suck at creating personal boundaries with people and end up burnt out as a result, and can be extremely internally self-critical. Once burnt out, I can definitely become passive-agressive which definitely changes the tone of my relationships with people. It’s almost like I’m so tired that I just don’t know how else to express myself or how I’m feeling.

More than anything, though, I identify with this type for its positive characteristics.

Conclusion

I find it interesting that I have such a high match with the Giver personality, when I really feel I am more of a Peacemaker. Maybe it’s that Givers sound like such beautiful human beings and I don’t want to place myself in that category out of low self-esteem, or being super critical of myself. Maybe I just don’t see myself like that, or maybe I’m just not like them. I’m not sure.

But if I took anything away from this test, it’s that being able to identify mainly with the unhealthy characteristics of each personality type right now tells me that I need to get my mental health in check. I knew that I had been feeling low, and tired, but this really helped me realize that I’m far below my “best” right now, and that I’m not doing anything about it. Perhaps if I address these concerns I’ll better identify with the positive characteristics of these personality types.

Doing this test was a pretty eye-opening experience for me, and even if you’re not looking for the same kind of experience it’s still pretty cool to read about and see how closely you fit with each personality type. In a lot of ways this test was pretty bang on, and I highly recommend it. It took probably five minutes and ended up giving me a lot of insight on myself and where I need to make improvements.

The test I took can be found here, for anyone interested. I liked this test specifically because it gave insight on the good, the bad, and what each personality is capable of at their best.

Thanks for reading this long-winded post about my dysfunctional personality. I hope that you found something interesting in it somewhere, and that you decided to take the test yourself.

If you do, feel free to let me know how your results.

Have a great week!



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